I've started something that I call "letters to my girls". Every couple of days (or sometimes multiple times a day) I write a quick email to an email address that I've set up with random notes to them. It may be something funny they've done that day, milestones, or an event or some kind. It partially serves as a journal of sorts for me to help remember all the small things and it is also something that I hope that the girls can enjoy one day when they are older and they think I am cool again.
Tonight I was writing them a little note about how much Irene loves meatloaf, Brooks loves to "wiggle", and Anna acts like she is being tortured when you try to give her a doughnut or any kind of good food. After I hit 'send' I was overcome with sadness about the Sandy Hook tragedy and the parents that will never have those little moments with their children again.
I decided that I needed to write the girls a note about it. I am not sure why...maybe this is turning into some type of therapy for me. I have made a pact with myself not to look at any of the letters until a date in the future, but I cheated tonight and went to my sent items. Here is a little exerpt from what I wrote:
"The Sandy Hook school tragedy happened three days ago. I'm not sure if
you even will know what that is. How will what happened on December
14th 2012 shape our future? Will it drastically influence the
progression of certain laws or bring awareness around mental
health issues and help to drive positive action for effective treatment
options? Will the story stick in our minds as the shocking and horrible
tragedy that it is, or are there such devastating stories to come in
the future that it will be only a vague memory? I don't know. We can
only hope something good comes out of all of this suffering and sorrow.
I hope when we read this together years from now that we will remember
with honor the victims and heroes....I hope that we have refused to live
in fear....and I hope that the nation has stood united in taking
positive steps to preventing this awful tragedy from occurring again."
It goes on a little more, but you get the point.
So as soon as I hit 'send' on that one I felt a loss at not knowing answers to some of the questions. Not a minute later I get an email from my friend Tarver with a link to this blog and a good idea:
http://thisishappilyeverafter.blogspot.com/2012/12/moving-on.html
I take this as more than a coincidence and a way that I can at least do a little small something personally to help us remember. I vow to pray for Allison Wyatt and her family every day for the rest of my life.
Such a wonderful idea, and what a nice way to feel less powerless in such a terrible tragedy.
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