A Pasty Ballad

Thanks to Kelley and Nora (who wrote and sung a song to our interns yesterday:  ), I was inspired at 3 AM to write my own song.

To the tune of American Pie:

Ah-hem.

A long long time ago

I can still remember how

That UV used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make my skin color enhance

And maybe I’d be tan for a while

But July came and made me shiver

From the burn the sun delivered

Bad news for my pale skin

I couldn’t even touch my shin

I can’t remember if I cried

When I finally realized

But something hit me deep inside

The day my tan dreams died…

SO

Bye, bye to the goddess of the sky

I’m the color of a cloud I can no longer deny

The rest of the girls put oil on their thigh

But I say this will be the day I don’t fry

This will be the day I don’t fry

Did you visit the tanning bed

In hopes that it wouldn’t make you red

Because your friend told you so

Now when you pass the tan skin test

Is it really a spray tan you confess

But at least it lets you wear that strapless dress

Well I thought we had a pale girl trend

When Edward Cullen did ascend

We all broke out in grins

And bared that pasty white skin

I was freckled, middle-aged, and on the shore

With my SPF 70 put on an hour before

And I knew I would not be sore

The day my tan dreams died….
I started singin'

Bye, bye to the goddess of the sky

I’m the color of a cloud I can no longer deny

The rest of the girls put oil on their thigh

But I say this will be the day I don’t fry

This will be the day I don’t fry

Now, for several years I’ve known my place

The bronze glow I cannot even chase

And that’s just the way it is

When I went to Costa Rica on a plane

I came back to comments all the same

“Oh sad, I see it must have rained”

No but while I basked in the sun

I had a hat, umbrella, and lot of rum

The vacation was adjourned

And still pale I returned

While we all know the certain facts

Still proud and boastful you do act

When we put our arms back to back

The day my tan dreams died….

We were singin’

Bye, bye to the goddess of the sky

I’m the color of a cloud I can no longer deny

The rest of the girls put oil on their thigh

But I say this will be the day I don’t fry

This will be the day I don’t fry

AND in case you don't believe me, this is after 7 DAYS in Costa Rica in 2010......